Dads always do things differently from moms but that is what makes them magical. To all the exceptional fathers out there who are superheroes in their children’s eyes, and present in their every day lives, Happy Father’s Day (Roozeh Pedar Mobarak)!
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish all my readers and wonderful supporters, and everyone who celebrates something around this time of the year, a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays followed by an amazing New Year full of health, laughter, and love. I am absolutely exhilarated when I hear from you, whether it’s for the feedback and suggestions you provide, our sense of unity when we can relate to one another through our experiences, or just your outright words of encouragement. Thank you!
Here I have posted our humble little Christmas tree mainly decorated with trinkets and ornaments that the kids have made at school. To be honest, deciding on whether to celebrate Christmas was a bit of a cultural struggle for my husband and I initially. While we both love festive holidays, beautiful Christmas lights, the sight of Santa Claus with his white fluffy beard, and the feel of everything Christmas, we felt a bit hypocritical in celebrating it. It was almost like by giving into this celebration we may be losing a bit of our Persian identity. So we questioned ourselves, challenged one another, and eventually came to the conclusion that we would indeed be putting up a little tree to culturally connect us with the rest of America. However we were very clear to our children we did not celebrate Christmas as most others do. We were not going to be buying presents for one another. We often don’t have the luxury of visiting our parents and having a big feast with them at this time either. Instead, we will put up our festive tree, and spread the holiday cheer by donating toys to kids who didn’t have them. I feel like we have found our balance and SO FAR, we have had no complaints from the kids. We reserve the present giving and big fuss for our Persian New Year, Norooz, to make the kids extra excited about it.
It once came up during a cultural leadership seminar that I went to (specifically a PAAIA NexGen conference) , that for immigrants, it is natural to lose a part of their culture as they migrate to another country. If they didn’t, they would become a museum, rather than an integrated part of their new society. It’s true. As immigrants, we are morphed into something new, what can be a beautiful amalgam of two or more cultures. But the challenge remains; what aspects of our Persian culture do we want to leave behind, and what are essential in the keeping. Only YOU can answer this for yourself and decide what kind of amalgam you choose to be. But if we are representing the Persian culture abroad, and as we pick up new habits and traditions, I hope you will remember this for our future generation:
“He said that if culture is a house, then language was the key to the front door; to all the rooms inside. Without it, he said, you ended up wayward, without a proper home or a legitimate identity.” ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed
Wishing you all the best,
I came across this article on Facebook: Sibling bullying increases depression risk. In a nutshell, it reports that there was more depression seen amongst children who were constantly bullied by their siblings. The article reports this was more frequent in girls who were bullied by their older brothers.
While I am always skeptical about qualitative research like this that evaluates things from a questionnaire and links adult behavior to childhood experiences without really evaluating the factors in between, and does not have clear controls, it does not dismiss the importance of teaching your children to be kind to one another. It really made me think about this issue.
I think fighting amongst siblings is readily accepted, and quite frankly, within a reasonable limit, it really is a part of growing up and learning to coexist with others.
But to be aware of your children and make sure that they are not constantly upsetting each other and causing angst is important. If you as a parent allow it to continue, it becomes a bad habit and accepted trend that can possibly lead to a permanent rift amongst siblings.
So here are 3 ways to teach your children to get along:
1. Help Children Recognize Each Others’ Triggers and Avoid them
Knowing what makes your brother/sister ticked off can be a sibling’s strength. Siblings tend to know each other very well. But allowing them to use that to set each other off can be harmful. Help your children identify what can provoke arguments and fights. Then help teach them how to avoid these situations and not to react.
2. Enforce Repercussions for Bad Behavior
Being clear and persistent about consequences is important. Instilling rules and sticking to them is an important part of parenting. This is especially important when the children hit one another and/or physically or mentally harm each other. Taking away privileges or having time outs or toys taken away are some of the consequences that can be used.
3. Praise Good Behavior
Right on the opposite end of scolding for bad behavior and taking away privileges is making sure you praise good behavior and positively reinforce it when the kids are playing well and behaving properly. Making them aware of what is good and reinforcing it with a positive message, privilege, or prize is important.
Hope this helps and makes your lives and your children’s lives a little easier!
Wishing you all good health,
Just as most of you wonderful mommas do, most of my time and energy is spent with my kids. Whether it’s playing with them, tutoring them, reading with/to them, talking to them, negotiating with them, or simply feeding them. But I often have important life lessons to teach them, most shaped from my own experiences and what I have been taught. In teaching them what I experience and know, I often find that I am serving myself a reminder of what I have learned. It’s a win-win!
So here’s Persian Momma Life Lesson for today:
Some people can be toxic to our souls and ambitions. It’s best to avoid these people and keep moving forward and going strong. Such people should be no more than road bumps in our drive to success and fulfilling our mission. Keep moving forward and don’t let negativity come knocking on your door. Surround yourself with those that truly love you and are rooting for your success!
#Success #Ambition #Drive #PersianMomma #LifeLesson
So if you have children of speaking age, you know they love to share just about everything with you, especially the moment you start conversing with someone else. So, this is a great opportunity to teach your children not to interrupt you when you are speaking to someone else. With a simple hand gesture you can teach your children not to interrupt. What we do, and I credit this to seeing another parent do it, is use a simple hand gesture to acknowledge the child that you’ve heard them but they have to wait a moment.
It is important to explain this to the child that when you point your forefinger up, this means you need a moment before you can tend to their needs or listen to them. Simply ignoring the child when you are trying to carry out a conversation does not work and can create frustration for the child. So by explaining to them that when mommy is talking to someone, you shouldn’t interrupt and that mommy will use this signal, you can train your children to wait for a moment without ignoring them or disrespecting them.
Another gesture that can be used is to have your child place their hand on your wrist when they need to talk to you when you are in another conversation. And then you can teach them that when you gently pile your hand on theirs, you know that they need you but they will have to wait until you are done with your conversation. This is a gentle and simple, yet effective method. I hope you give it a try or feel free to share what method you use!
گویند مرا چو زاد مادر ، پستان به دهن گرفتن آموخت
شبها بر گاهواره من ، بیدار نشست و خفتن آموخت
دستم بگرفت و پا به پا برد ، تا شیوه راه رفتن آموخت
یک حرف و دو حرف بر زبانم ، الفاظ نهاد و گفتن آموخت
لبخند نهاد بر لب من ، بر غنچه گل شکفتن آموخت
پس هستن من ز هستن اوست ، تا هستم و هست دارمش دوست
Gooyand maraa cho zaad madar, pestaan beh dahan gereftan amookht
Shabha bar gahvaareh man, bidar neshast va khoftan amookht
Dastam begreft va paa beh paa bord, taa shiveh raah raftan amookht
Yek harf va do harf bar zabanam, alfaaz nahad va goftan amookht
Labkhand nahaad bar labeh man, bar ghoncheyeh gol shekoftan amookht
Pas hastaneh man, zeh hastaneh oost, taa hastam va hast daaramash doost
Translation by Sanaz (Persian Momma)
They say the moment my mother gave birth to me, she taught me how to suckle from her breast
Through the night she stayed awake above my cradle and taught me how to sleep
She took my hand and walked step by step and taught me how to walk
Letter by letter, word by word she taught me how to speak
She put a smile on my lips, taught a flower bud to blossom
Thus my being is because of her being and as long as we both shall be, I will love her
A very HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all you hardworking mommas and Persian Mommas who work day in and day out with love in your hearts, good intentions in your minds, and with every ounce of your being to make sure the next Continue reading “Not All Superheroes Wear Capes!” »
I recently picked up a box of these chocolates at Costco after sampling them there and what a mistake! Not only because, well, I shouldn’t really be indulging in chocolate anyways. It doesn’t do anything for my waistline, but also it’s full of unnecessary chemicals and newer questionable ones that I’ve never even heard of!
It seems that even the red m&m on the wrapper was warning me to stay away! The second ingredient listed is PGPR. What the hell is PGPR and why is it in my chocolate? Shouldn’t chocolate really just be a few ingredients (chocolate, cocoa powder, cocoa butter, and sugar)?
So basically here’s what I found:
With summer coming to an end and people trying to make the most out of their last few weeks in the sun, it’s a good time to educate ourselves about Lyme Disease.
Ten Facts You Should Know About Lyme Disease
- Lyme disease is caused by bacteria called Borrelia burgdorferi that is only transmitted to humans when they are bitten by an infected tick.
- To infect its host, a tick typically must be attached to the skin for at least 36 hours.
- Most cases of Lyme disease occur in late spring and early summer. Continue reading “What the Tick?!” »
Often we are greeted with picture-perfect family portraits of smiling children, the toothless grins of a speechless infant, posts on Facebook about how great a family vacation is, news of friends’ children’s academic achievements, invitations to cupcake-filled kids birthday parties, and led to believe that being a parent is the most glorious thing on earth.
While I am truly grateful for the gift it is to be a parent, I don’t think (or perhaps I hope) I am not alone in feeling that parenting is no party. What we less commonly and openly share as parents is the less glorious side of parenting, the tantrums, the back-talk, the academic struggles, the emotional battles, sibling rivalry, and what it takes to mold your little one into what you hope will be a happy citizen and a valuable asset to humanity and society.